Chap 1 - Waking Up
A lot of people yearn for the opportunity to quit their job and slow down their life, to let go of crazy amounts of stress and reconnect with the world. Paying bills and supporting families are the hurdles (legitimately!) that keep them from reaching out and grasping what they truly want out of life. Over the years my disgust for the corporate hustle has increased at a steady pace, and I couldn't seem to settle into any position or for any company. This past year, having a lengthy commute and a still-new marriage and a stress-packed job and a couple of kids pulling my attention, needless to say I got pretty-well burnt out.Along came January of 2017; my kids embarked on a new journey with their dad to North Carolina, so there was extra/new anxiety regarding that situation. About the time when we had been in the new house for one month is when I hit the breaking point at work. Fuck this bullshit. Ron knew what the job had been doing to my soul, and even though it was a leap into the Great Unknown, he supported me as I wrote the scathing email to my manager, director and HR. I was out of there!
Immediately came the sensation of relief, sweet sweet relief. Even though the new burden of surviving on way less money was looking us square in the eyes, the relief of letting go a giant burden washed over me. After the exit, I didn't even worry or think about the customers I was abandoning. That is quite telling, since usually my loyalty to customers is a major driving force for my level of performance.
Suddenly, beholden to no one other than to my marital commitment and to my distant children, as my focus began to change, I could see a myriad of possibilities before us. Creative thoughts flowed into my brain and, instead of automatically dismissing them, suddenly I had the option to actually pay attention to them.
Chapter 2 - Forcing My Fortunate Self
Okay. So the job-stress is over, I can finally live my dreams, and Ron and I now live on a lot less income. But if you notice, the above event happened in January of this year, and currently it's near the end of March. Here's what I've been up to: envisioning and beginning our little homestead.#1 - soul searching.
- My true nature is an Observer, a Researcher and a Philosopher. I ponder a lot. I ruminate a lot. Additionally I'm highly sensitive in a lot of ways, so the contemplative and sensitive sides really go together. As of today, my soul searching has helped me discover that if I want something for myself, I have to FORCE myself to do it. None of this wondering why ____ happened to me. None of this living in my head all the time. Which is why I'm sitting here at the computer, getting these thoughts out of my head. If I am gonna have thoughts, well, y'all are gonna be exposed to them too so they're OUT of my head.
#2 - catching up on all the awesome tv shows.
- Maybe I've been hiding under a rock for several years (okay, yeah, in a metaphorical way I really have been...), but there are some great tv series out there. Here's the best I've seen:
Taboo - far and away my new favorite series. Love the sets, costumes, makeup, accents, writing, everything.
Peaky Blinders - same writer that did Taboo, so yeah, of course I'm gonna like this one too.
Marco Polo - Netflix sure puts out good series, huh? Just starting this one, and I really dig it.
The Leftovers - HBO has good watching too. This series majorly triggers my philosophical side, but I had to stick it out to the end of season 2. That's when the story really pulls together.
#3 - staring at the garden, focusing on the areas we want to change, and envisioning how it will look in 5 years.
- Again, being the philosophical and sensitive soul that I am, this type of activity really helps me hone in on what I want to do and what needs to be learned/achieved for it to happen.
- Learning how to plant according to the temperature and moon cycles. 2017 has been a very wet season for us here in Northern Utah, so I am learning how to NOT plant based off a calendar.
#4 - beginning projects we can do now that the house is "empty" and the ground isn't frozen.
- The upstairs bedrooms have been turned into AirBNB rooms, so that helps motivate me to keep the house as clean as I like it, despite having many fur-leaving beasts.
- Compost bin has been started, and we're still deciding which composting method we want to use so we can put that into the composting area Ron built.
- Beehives are an actual possibility this year!!! OMG. I recently learned about the horizontal top bar beehive style, and I think that will be the first hive I get. Here's why I like it: 1 - it's moveable, though I don't intend to move it much (if at all). 2 - you get comb with the honey. 3 - it attracts swarms so I could even get FREE BEES using this design. Again, OMG.
- So far we've planted 2 varieties of raspberry, 1 blackberry, 2 apricot trees and 2 variety of peach tree (the trees won't produce until next year at the very earliest). Still to come is whatever vegetables and herbs we decide on for this Year 1 growing season.
Well when I decided to sit down and write today, I said I'd write until 4:30 and that time is upon me now. Writing all this out helps me to understand that during this time of not being enslaved to the corporate masters reflection, I haven't been doing "nothing", as the little Diane-on-my-shoulder tends to tell myself. A lot of what I've been doing will actually be beneficial for the long-term. For now, I will let myself get used to this new life, and I will continue to FORCE myself to do things I'm not very comfortable with.
Happy Homesteading!
